Parenting Teens: New Phrases for a Stronger Bond
Adolescence is a whirlwind of change, a time when a child morphs into an adult. It’s a tricky stretch—not just for teens, but for their parents too. The support parents offer during this phase is vital to a teen’s mental well-being and happiness. Instead of leaning on outdated, often hurtful phrases, psychologist Tetyana Onyshchenko suggests fresh ones to bridge the gap and build trust.
New Phrases, New Understanding
- “I get how you’re feeling and I’m here to listen so we can figure out what’s bothering you” instead of: “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”
- “Your opinion matters to me—let’s brainstorm how to make this work without causing harm” instead of: “Don’t do that!”
- “I see the effort you’re putting in, and that’s already a big leap forward” instead of: “Why aren’t you trying harder?!”
- “I respect your freedom to choose, but let’s talk about what might come of this decision” instead of: “No, because I said so!”
- “I’m always ready to listen and support you whenever you need me” instead of: “I don’t even want to hear it!”
- “I know you want to do this on your own, and I respect that independence. I’m here if you need a hand” instead of: “You’re too young for this!”
- “You don’t have to be perfect—what matters to me is that you’re yourself” instead of: “Why can’t you be like everyone else?”
- “We can tackle this together if you’d like my help sorting it out” instead of: “I know what’s best for you!”
Why These Phrases Matter
These words carry weight because they show teens their feelings and thoughts aren’t just heard—they’re valued. During adolescence, when carving out an identity and finding a place in the world take center stage, knowing parents understand and stand by them lays the groundwork for a solid sense of self and emotional strength.
Beyond that, these phrases nurture independence and responsibility. Rather than barking orders, parents invite teens to make choices and weigh the outcomes. This sparks critical thinking and decision-making skills while helping them own their actions. Crafting a safe space for open dialogue—where teens can spill their thoughts and emotions without fear—tightens the bond between parent and child.
Spotting Trouble Signs
Teens don’t always voice their struggles outright. Keep an eye out for clues like:
- Shifts in behavior: Dropping hobbies, odd eating or sleeping patterns.
- Emotional swings: Crankiness, sadness, or anxiety creeping in more than usual.
- School struggles: Grades slipping or a shrug toward studies.
- Pulling away: Shutting out friends and family.
If these red flags pop up, don’t wait—reach out to a psychologist for support.
A teen’s mental health thrives on care, empathy, and encouragement. Your willingness to listen, lift them up, and lend a hand bolsters their confidence and emotional grit.
