Raising Independent Kids: How to Let Go and Foster Responsibility
While a child is young, parents decide for them what they will eat, wear, do, and when they will go to bed. And often it is not easy to switch from this state of complete control and guardianship. But it is important to do it. We will tell you how you can teach your child responsibility and independence.
Children and adolescents will not be able to become independent if all decisions are made for them by adults. But where to start if for a long time you controlled both the child's extracurricular activities, and their homework, and even communication with friends? How to rebuild your attitude, and explain to the child that now responsibility for part of the decisions made will lie with the child?
Step 1. Define the Boundaries of Responsibility
What decisions are you ready to entrust to the child, and which ones are not yet? For example, they can buy clothes for the summer themselves, but it is important for you that you buy the equipment together.
Step 2. Show Empathy
Show that you hear and understand the teenager and are ready to discuss the problem. "I understand you are upset. Tell me why this is so important to you?"
Step 3. Identify the Problem
To formulate it, voice your concerns in turn.
"Where does this distrust come from?" the teenager will ask you.
"I trust your choice, but this is a big purchase, you need to consider a lot and fit into the budget."
Step 4. Come Up with a Solution Together
Most often, solutions come down to three types:
- find a compromise,
- ask for help,
- do it differently.
Help to make the solution feasible and realistic. "Let me find a few options, and you choose one of them?"
